Hail Robots,

You may have seen rumblings that we were looking for a new editorial assistant to take over some of the day-to-day running of the orbital death platform – organising the puny meatbags for sacrifice, polishing our vast, gleaming control panel…you know, that kind of thing.

We set up a very cunning trap that involved a pulley system, cage, shiny things and some books and are delighted to announce that we managed to catch one. It’s