Lovely! Just What I Always Wanted.It happens every year. Maybe it’ll be your mad Aunty Mabel, or your loving Mum, or your lazy brother-in-law, or maybe it’ll be the last-minute secret santa buyer in the office pool that you were unlucky enough to end up with.

But let’s face it, it’s pretty much guaranteed to happen: someone will give you some sort of Crap Present – usually oh, so jolly Xmas socks – at some point this holiday season.

Here at Angry Robot we’re no strangers to the Squishy Package of Impending Doom and we feel your pain, we really do.

Which is why we’re announcing the Angry Robot Sock Amnesty.

In a festive nut-shell: if you send us your Xmas socks (or any other crap presents that you’d be happy to see the back of) we will send you a voucher code for a free Angry Robot ebook in return.

We’ll then donate all your crap presents to charity on your behalf – after posting photos of the funniest and/or weirdest ones here on the Angry Robot blog, of course – and you’ll be able to read your ebook-of-choice in the warm glow of knowing you’ve Done Good.

And best of all, Aunty Mabel will never know…

[Full how-to-enter details below the jump:]

Okay, these are The Rules:

1. All items submitted must arrive with us no earlier than December 26th 2011 and no later than January 15th 2012.

2. All items submitted must be:

a) crap – please feel free to put in a note explaining why you think the present is crap if the inherent crapness of the thing doesn’t immediately shine through;

b) new – original packaging would be ideal.

3. On receipt of your submitted item we will assess it for appropriate levels of crapness and newness. Anything that is obviously highly cool rather than crap, or is clearly worn, old or second-hand won’t be deemed acceptable.

4. On acceptance of your submitted item, we will send you a voucher code redeemable against one free ebook at the Angry Robot Store in return.

With that in mind, please remember to include a piece of paper with your name and email address on it. We’re not going to spend half of January following up on “I sent you socks, where’s my voucher?” queries, we can promise you.

5. You’ll need to post your crap presents to your nearest Angry Robot office:

Angry Robot Sock Amnesty
Angry Robot
Lace Market House
54-56 High Pavement,


Angry Robot Sock Amnesty
Angry Robot
c/o Osprey Publishing Inc.
44-02 23rd Street
Suite 219
Long Island City
New York
NY 11101USA

That about covers it. We look forward to receiving your unwanted socks and assorted other crap in the post-holiday post.

Photo Credit: sd2005 via


  1. @Barbara – Awesome! You should at least send a photo, just to prove how unspeakably crap it is. Also, it would be cruel to charities everywhere to expect them to rehome such a monstrosity.

  2. I would really love to send you the wreath my mother- in- law has sent me for Christmas but I’m afraid it would not get through Customs. It consists of a wicker circle covered in tiny gum nuts that look like sheep poo. To finish it off it has been adorned with a cicada and two unfortunate beetles and then heavily coated in varnish. A limp green ribbon bow dangles inside the circle like a flaccid gangrenous pair of testicles. It was accompanied by two boxes of cheap Chinese made chocolates.

  3. Now that’s what I call marketing…

  4. If you think it’s cool, hang onto it. We won’t judge what you send us as long as it follows the guidelines. Tis the season, and all that.

  5. @Qwill – I’m glad we can restore the magic of avarice to your holiday season 🙂

    @Adonna – Actually, my Mum would love that for her owl collection… 2 free ebooks?

    @Ann – Sounds, um… delightful? No, wait, that’s not the word I was looking for. Delicious? No. Delectable? No? Delicate? Yeah, that’s more like it. As in: “that looks delicate, it’d be a shame if anything were to happen to… oh, no, look what I’ve done! Clumsy old me with my lump hammer.”

    @Tsana – That’s a very good question. Tell you what, send us something insanely cool instead and we’ll let you know what happens…

  6. So what do you do if you deem the present to be obviously cool instead of crap?

  7. I was given a gigantic musical Christmas snowglobe yesterday. According to everyone else in the office, it’s just adorable. Every note is like an icepick plunging into my brain.

  8. Our extended family passes around an eight pound brass owl every year. You know you’ve been chosen before you ever open it. The *real* curse of it though is the fact that you have to hang on to it so that you can re-gift it to some unsuspecting family member year!

  9. This is brilliant! Now I can look forward to receiving an awful present.

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