Thank you, thank you, thank you, Joey HiFi. You are amazing.

[ Click for larger version. ]

OK, so first there were our wonderful monthly podcasts, conducted by Mighty Mur Lafferty (no really, that’s her full three-word name – check her passport if you don’t believe us). To help give her broadcasts a proper opening, our Mur commissioned the uncontainable talents of John Anealio to create the Angry Robot theme tune. And lo, toes were tapped most verily and heads they did nod.

Its life-changing twenty-two seconds were enough to lead into whichever of our intrepid authors were braving Mur’s piercing questions, but unbeknownst to us mere mortals, minds immeasurably superior to ours were beavering away behind the scenes on something far grander. For yes indeed, that man Matt Forbeck was plotting away with the selfsame Anealio to produce a version that had, oh my, verses… containing, gasp, lyrics, no less. And thus it became lead track on John’s recent Robots EP, still available for ** free ** download over at Bandcamp.

But that busy Mr Anealio couldn’t resist fiddling about. Typical human. So this week he debuted the following gentle mood manipulator, the unplugged version of “Angry Robot”, via the primitive broadcast system known as YouTube:

But why should the composer have all fun, you cry! Where’s our chance to dick around with this song, you demand! Well hush yo mouth and listen up, sparky, cos that’s what we’re getting to.

For yes, we can proudly announce our next frankly mental contest. Unlike your average genre publisher, Angry Robot has a theme tune. Now it’s time for you guys to REMIX THE THEME TUNE. Here’s all you have to do…

1) Follow the link of your choice below to download the multitracked parts of John and Matt’s full length Angry Robot song.

2) Slice, dice, layer, shuffle, remix, scratch, burn, weld, rip, belay and flense them into a totally different form. Or use these as inspiration for your own band’s version. Or get out comb, paper and vastly expensive sampling software now inexplicably available on your iPhone for only 59¢ and make the ultimate bootleg mash-up. Whatever it takes, make us a new version of the Angry Robot song and rock our metal souls.

3) Send us the resultant magnificent octopus as an MP3, by the end of April 1st.

Assisted by the astute brains of Mr John Anealio and the very Reverend Matt Forbeck we’ll pick our favourites and host them here. If we get enough good tracks, we can probably be persuaded to sort out a Bandcamp EP of all of them, for one and all to download until the robot cows come home.

And of course the very best one will win something as demented as the song: you’ll get a role in Matt Forbeck’s next novel for Angry Robot – and a very nasty death is guaranteed too!

The various parts you need are no longer available, because the competition has closed. Sorry.

John said to tell you muso types that the original files are in D minor, at 116 bpm. Yeah, like, back in the lab, professor! Anyways, send your entries as an MP3, preferably inside a .zip file, to us at incoming@angryrobotbooks.com

Don’t forget sensible stuff like your name and email address, and remember to ask your parent or guardian before using any scissors.

THE SMALL PRINT
All samples are provided as is. All samples are freely usable in any way you see fit, under Creative Commons. You are allowed to chop these samples into pieces, loop fragments, blow them up, timestretch them out, do whatever. If you use any samples from *other people’s works* for some demented mash-up and they come after you with swanky lawyers, we don’t know you. If somehow you have a top ten hit with these and are suddenly neck-deep in floozies and fast cars, ours is a pint of champers and a Ferrari. Each. You agree that we can post your mad remixes on the internet for humans to hear.

The following film was written, directed, and stars our dear Mr Remic, and gives a good taste of the flavour of Kell’s Legend, which is launched in the UK and Australia next week. Music by th3 m1ss1ng.

*Seriously – clockwork vampires! You have to be dead inside to think that’s not cool!

When Hollywood calls, I already have the soundtrack to “Slights”, as devised by our High Commissioner to Fiji, Mr James Batley, who hosted the Fiji launch on Wednesday night. Here is his list. Wonderful stuff!

“Stephanie Says” – The Velvet Underground
“Devil in Disguise” – Elvis Presley
“Devil in her Heart” – The Beatles
“Double Life” – The Cars
“Bones” – The Killers
“Beauty and the Beast” – David Bowie
“Crippled Inside” – John Lennon
“Psycho Killer” – Talking Heads
“Into the Night” – Julee Cruise
“Twilight” – Antony and the Johnsons
“Blackbird” – Sarah McLachlan
“Bird on a Wire” – Leonard Cohen
“Happiness is a Warm Gun” – The Beatles
“Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” – Bob Dylan
“I Float Alone” – Julee Cruise
“Breathe Me” – Sia